Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I will make it...

Emotions never seem to get me on the roller coaster, but this whole miscarriage is taking me for a ride! I decided to take the tissue to Pathology and see what they could tell me. Well the results were NOT what I was expecting.
Monday I went in for my follow up appointment and was blown away with my results. My pregnancy was a molar pregnancy. My doctor explained to me what that means,
Molar pregnancy: An abnormally formed placenta that results in miscarriage. Also called a hydatidiform mole. Women with molar pregnancies will need blood work after they miscarry to make sure that all the abnormal placental tissue has been evacuated.
So that is where I am right now. If the tissue is not out I have a risk of developing cancer from it. I still have HCG in my body but it is going down, so that is a blessing. My HCG needs to be in the negative before this is completely over. I have a blood test on Friday, so pray that I'm in the negative. Unfortunately, once a woman has one molar pregnancy, the risk of another is very high. This is my second molar pregnancy, so I will mostly have more to come if Sandor and I want more kids.
My mind is still going through the facts over and over again. I am on edge it seems and I still haven't cried. I was really hoping that I would not have to deal with so much during this miscarriage, but I have. What is making my mind and heart feel so heavy is knowing this is not done. This will not be done until Sandor and I are done having children! If I miscarry again in the future I will have to have a DNC for every one, because it's the defected tissue that is producing the HCG, so my body will not let go of it naturally. WOW! What a thing to accept when all you've wanted in life was tons of kids!
So if you could please pray for me!! I know that God is control and I have faith that He will take care of me, but I still have emotions and those are what need prayer.

On another note, my parents have been stuck in MEXICO!! So Ellie has been staying with Sandor and I since Friday. That has been going very well :) But they should be back early Friday morning. I'm very anxious to see them.

Ruben is growing HUGE!! Last Wednesday he weighed in at 22lbs and 28 3/4 inches long!!! He is almost half of my height and he'll be 9 months in 10 days...anything a little wrong with that?!? I love watching him grow and learn new things. He is starting the 'I want Mama all the time' stage! Some times its good, yet when I'm trying to get things done its not so cute.

Sandor has his CDL testing tomorrow, pray he gets it! I think that he will, he has it down and hopefully he is confident :) I'll let you know how it goes.

We will be in Homer next week. I cannot wait. I hope that the weather is good. Sandor and I got a bike trailer for a GREAT deal, so we want to try it out.

3 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry to hear about the miscarriage problem! Life doesn't often make sense, does it? It's good, though, that you know that God is in control. God has a message for you in this, I'm sure.

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  2. Wow... We will be praying for you. This has got to be a really emotional and frustrating time for you and I can't say I'm sorry enough! I wish there was something I could do to help, but just know that we'll be praying.

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  3. Hi, I'm a blogger friend of Jessica and I saw her note about you and come over.
    I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am to hear of your miscarriage. I know how it feels as I had just gone through a miscarriage myself 2 months ago. Although it wasn't a molar pregnancy, it was still a miscarraige and that was my very first pregnancy(6th wk). It was a very sad time for me but I know that things happened for a reason. My husband and I will just have to keep trying.
    Please take good care of yourself.

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